Embracing Change: The Beauty of Recreating Your Life

Every experience, even if it feels like a failure or a regression, is an opportunity to see how far you have come on the 'journey'.

In the beginning, change is a huge arc on the pendulum's swing and you are hanging on by your fingernails, way out on the edge.

But as you grow and change, evolving into your authentic self, the arcs become less violent, the distance to the ground is shorter, the duration spent hanging by your fingertips is less.

Your life is a spiral, not a straight line. There is not one lesson to learn, but many. Each new learning experience is met with a greater depth and breadth of knowledge because you have spent some time hanging on for dear life!

Know and believe that progress has been made. Accept every thing you call a 'set back' as proof positive that you are changing and embrace the opportunity the Universe has given you to reexamine your path, make a course correction if necessary, rededicate yourself to the process, grow and prosper. Exalt in the knowledge that you have chosen to live to your fullest, welcoming the pain as well as the pleasure. Be comforted by the promise that a rebirth comes from a death of the part of yourself that shackles you to choices not congruent with your true purpose. Take heart. Enjoy the ride. Have faith. Revel in your aliveness.

This is the beauty of recreating your life.

Saying Goodbye

Saying goodbye to a pet is not the same as saying goodbye to a person.

But it hurts and, no matter how many times you have had to put an animal down, it never gets easy. That's okay. It should hurt. It should never be easy to part with a loving presence in your life.

This morning, I said goodbye to Tarbaby...perhaps not the most politically correct of names, you may be thinking. When I trapped her, her feral mother and the only surviving litter mate of that third litter, she weighed in around 1 1/2 pounds and was black as tar. I never intended on keeping any of them since this was the second feral family I had 'rescued' and I had an indoor cat, so when the vet asked me for her name, I blurted out the first thing that came to my mind.

After neutering and surgery - 'Tar' was so small the vet had no mask little enough to administer the gas - she was too little and too sick to be 'released'. I found a home for her litter mate and returned the mom to my back yard, where I had been feeding her for about two years. Long story short, Tarbaby was now an indoor cat.

She was difficult. Okay, perhaps I have been kind. That little thing was wild and not exactly right. After about a year, my old indoor cat had to be put down. A year later, the feral mom didn't show up for breakfast one morning. Tarbaby was alone in the house.

When she and I would meet in the hallway, Tar would become a cartoon cat, legs going a hundred miles an hour the opposite way, as though she had never seen me before or experienced us in the hall together before...even if it had happened just moments earlier.

Tarbaby sat in my lap once. It was an accident and she was so shocked that she actually stayed for a few seconds! But if I was home in bed during the day, she would come sleep with me. When she was little, she would crawl under the covers and burrow her head in my armpit. Did I mention that she wasn't exactly right? In the beginning, she was trained to the litter box. Something happened, I don't know what, and then she wasn't trained. I have shampooed and replaced carpet over and over during the four years we were together. I have cried about how feral she was. I had talk after talk with my vet and tried every silly remedy they suggested. I thought about putting her down just because I didn't think I could live the rest of my life like that. I cried to even think I could be a person who would kill something just because it was inconvenient and difficult. I decided to keep her and love her, even though I did try thought transference with her...just fyi, cats are resistant to mind control.

In the end, I made peace with Tarbaby. After my divorce, it was nice to have someone to talk to when I came home late from the office. And I am a care-giver, so in addition to the feral family of three living in my yard, I had a little 'inside' body to look after.

She was only sick for about two weeks. I am grateful for that. I don't believe in watching an animal you love suffer because you are not ready to part with them. That is cruel to me. I stayed with her this morning, as I have done with the four or five other cats I have put down. I didn't always do that. The first two pets I lost, died without me or my husband with them. I was too emotional to stay, I thought. It would be too hard for me to watch. But the guilt I felt leaving my pet to die alone made the grief last for days and days. Once I faced the death of a pet and stayed to 'sit with' that loss, the crying only lasted for a day, not a week. Of course, I was emotional, but not from the guilt of leaving: emotional from the end of something precious in my life.

I did right by Tarbaby. I gave her a loving home when others might have kicked her out for being a mess. Well, life can be messy. If we wanted a pristine environment, we would not have a spouse or significant other...no children...no friends...and definitely no pets. We would live in our perfect world, with our sweet smelling rooms, walking on our whiter-than-white carpet totally alone. Totally alone.

And where would the fun be in that?

Tarbaby taught me something about myself. And when you think about death - of a pet or a friend or a loved one - saying goodbye is a beautiful way of honoring the relationship that existed in life It's not easy, but it's not supposed to be.

Chakra Information

A great audio tape is "Journey Through The Chakras" by Colette Baron-Reid

Books to read..."The Book of Chakra Healing" by Liz Simpson

"Healing Crystals and Gemstones - From Amethyst to Zircon" by

Dr. Flora Peschek-Bohmer and Gisela Schreiber

"Kundalini - The Arousal of the Inner Energy" by Ajit Mookerjee

Valentine's Day

Love and the Heart Chakra

The heart chakra is the central chakra within the seven energy systems in our body. Each system resonates at a different frequency, corresponds to a different color of the rainbow, and is metaphysically liked with a number of different systems in our physical bodies.

The chakras bridge the gap between our "subtle" body and the spinal cord, the autonomic nervous system and the endocrine system. Many of these systems perform the most complicated of chemical and neurological functions and we are not even aware of what is going on round the clock, twenty-four/seven, underneath our skin. When we think of the heart, of course, we understand the physical function that muscle serves. What of the spiritual function, the "aura" of the heart?

A healthy "aura" is a smooth, steady flow of energy through the chakra system, indicating a body clear from dis-ease. But what of "heartache", a "broken heart", those who are "heart sick"?

The heart chakra mediates between the worlds of spirit and matter, being at the center of the chakra system. Through this chakra we relate compassionately and unconditionally with others, with love and with ourselves. This is a love that does not depend upon the actions of others. Rather it is unconditional love through which we accept another for doing their best and begin to develop a true sense of self-love and self-acceptance.

The Sanskrit word for this chakra - Anahata - means "sound made without two things striking" or "unstruck". This describes the co-existence of body and spirit, but - more importantly, I think - the ability to love without expectation (see the blog on "Loving What Is", thoughts on a Byron Katie lecture).

A heart chakra that is "too open" or spins too fast is possessive, loves conditionally, witholds emotionally in order "to punish" and is overly dramatic. A heart chakra that is "blocked" or spins slowly or not at all fears rejection, loves too much, feels unworthy to receive love and is self-pitying. A "balanced" heart chakra or one that is spinning at the correct vibrational speed is compassionate, loves unconditionally, nurtures and desires spiritual experience in lovemaking.

This central chakra is the passage through which we move from the lower (animal) centers to the higher (mental and spiritual) centers. We are shifting from basic survival needs toward gratitude for blessings received. We learn to listen to the heart, which can be a better barometer of our deeper needs than can the mind. As we wind our way toward our higher self, our relationships expose us to how little we may love ourselves. Shunning intimacy often masks a fear of looking inward. Relationships offer an opportunity for self-awareness and knowledge...recognizing and loving our dark side as well as the parts we admire. This is the basis of unconditional love.

The negative archetype associated with the heart chakra is the Performer...the co-dependent, who looks outside for the love they crave, believing their wounds can be healed by finding someone to love them. Love is cerebral for them and a fear of betrayal sabotages any change of real happiness with another.

The lover has the capacity to love her or himself unconditionally. Their happiness does not depend upon the actions of others so they freely give of themselves without expectation. Their core is so secure they love for the joy it brings them. They are magnetic, radiant and draw others to them through their positive energy.

"Loving too much" is often a result of externalizing something that needs to come from within. Believing our strong feelings as love, we may be expressing our fear of betrayal, jealousy, possessiveness and emotional instability.

Heart Chakra Affirmations:

I send love to everyone I know.

I love myself for who I am and for the potential within me.

All past hurt I release into the hands of love.

I am grateful for all the love that is in my life.

Love will set me free.

On this day of love and hearts, experience your feelings through the sense of touch. Use rose oils and crystals of rose quartz, emerald and watermelon tourmaline to balance this chakra. The associated animal archetype is the gazelle, an animal which bounds with joy.

Most importantly, open your heart. Love yourself, for you are complete. Give freely of what is within you. Love is all you need!

A Cherokee Legend

A Cherokee Legend