GRATITUDE

...car seat warmers, WD 40 and spandex: perhaps the three greatest inventions, for which I am grateful!

FRIENDS Since 2006, I have met people from all over the world. We have come together in various seminars and classes. Most I may never see again. No matter. Each one shared a moment in time in a seminal point of my life. For their participation, their input, their presence, their place on the path of this journey, I am grateful.

There is a group of friends - I call them my 'old friends' - who were a part of my life while I was married. Often, after a divorce, relationships fall by the wayside. It is not a lack of caring. I'm not sure what to call it, but often the time spent together becomes less and less. In part, I have been reluctant to extend an invitation to them to be with me...foolish on my part, for friendship should be a two-way street. These friends won't give up on me! They are dear souls who continue to seek me out, include me, love me. I am grateful!

Then there are my high school friends, with whom I have reconnected in the past two years. Thank you, Vicki, for that call out of the blue...angels are everywhere! After so many years of distance, I was amazed at how comfortable and comforting it was to be with these characters. I am grateful for this presence in my life.

PARENTS I'm not sure I could say my parents are the ones I think I deserved, but they gave me life.

My mom and my biological father gave me genetics that seem to be able to withstand the ravages of time and a certain amount of abuse. I feel so lucky to be healthy, strong, able to workout as I do, walk and hike, with no end in sight.

My step-father gave me a comfortable home, my first look at the night sky, love, a lesson in how to watch a baseball game and track the box scores, a college education. If only his attempts to teach me geology had been as successful as all the other lessons.

I always joked that my "real" parents, the King and Queen, were looking for me to bring me back to the castle. What I have learned is that my parents were the ones I needed in order to learn the lessons this life is designed to teach me. They may not be the parents I think I deserve: they are the parents I chose and for that I am grateful.

RESILIENCE I have called myself a chameleon in the sense that, living the nomadic life of my childhood, I was always being plopped down into an environment and having to adjust on the fly...having to size things up quickly in order to determine what I needed to do in order to fit in where I found myself.

I even drew an "I Am" mandala in a C.H.E.K. PPS workshop that symbolized my life as that chameleon. At the time, I am not sure I viewed that characteristic as a positive.

What I have come to realize is that I have the ability to continually rebound or spring back from anything. I don't get down for long. I always seem to have hope. I have been told that I have continually reinvented myself. This is a good thing! Constantly putting one foot in front of the other, striving to be the best I am capable of being (even if I am not always sure what that is!), growing with each life experience. This resiliency is something for which I am very grateful!

HUMOR I crack myself up!

Honestly, I have such an irreverent sense of humor, a delight in the absurd, an exuberant appreciation of the delicious ironies of life that I will always be able to have a happy heart. This has only grown with age. The gratitude I have for this aspect of my personality is immeasurable.

TEACHERS I have had the extreme good fortune to study with, learn from, some eccentric geniuses.

There are also many unlikely looking angels and archangels in my life that have been an updraft: have supported me, taught me, cared for me, loved me, been patient with me, challenged me, frustrated me, believed in me. These men and women are carried so deep in my heart...words of thanks pale in comparison to your value to me.

FAMILY By this, I mean the one I created.

My former husband gave me security and stability. He fathered our wonderful daughter. He exposed me to fabulous experiences all over the world. When I chose to leave, he let me go with as much grace as was possible. He is a friend.

Having a child has made me a better person. There is a love like no other for a baby turned wise woman that you have carried inside you and given birth to. Thank you, dear girl, for the gift you have given me, for the relationship we continue to grow.

I am grateful to you both and for you.

I am grateful for the work I do in the place my partner and I have created. I am grateful for the morning when I get to sleep in and dawdle over the crossword puzzle and a second cup of organic coffee. I am grateful for peace and quiet in my life. I am grateful for my willingness to experience life...a dear friend told me once that pain is a given, but suffering is a choice. I am grateful that I still want to love, no matter the risk. I am grateful for the blue of an autumn sky in Texas. I am grateful for the things posted by my Facebook friends! I am grateful for the color purple...doesn't it go with everything?

So, on this Thanksgivng Day, I thank the Universe.

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice. ~Meister Eckhart

Veteran's Day - My Dad

My dad enlisted in the Army Air Corps (there was no Air Force back then) right out of high school.

After training - he tells a wonderful story about his first solo touch-and-go flight that makes me smile to this day - he was sent to an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. This was toward the end of World War 2.

He used to show me photos of his time there...the jungle, a little dog he adopted, his buddies in his unit, his plane, his plane shot down. The most remarkable thing about these pictures, for me, is how young these boys were...how young my dad was and how thin; they all had the bodies of my friends in high school, all shoulders, no waist or hips, ribs poking through...kids.

Daddy has a wonderful sense of humor, quite the joker, though more mellow now. He seemed so strong to me, healthy, fit. He said once, when looking at his island pictures, that the only thing that could make him sick at his stomach happened there. He would never tell me what that was. I imagined it must have been pretty horrific.

After the war, my dad, who was an orphan, was able to go to college, courtesy of the United States Government. He graduated from Colorado School of Mines in Golden, Colorado and still consults as a petroleum engineer today. He is also an inventor with several patents! He is 85.

I know that some wars are necessary for the greater good...many wars are political or economic...I am not an advocate of military solutions being the only solutions. But I want to acknowledge and thank the men and women who served and serve...their reasons are many, and while interesting, not germane here.

They go to hell and back because their country tells them to do so...thank you, Dad.

The Devil Made Me Do It...

...many of you are too young to remember that line from a weekly skit on the Flip Wilson show. Many of you are probably too young to even know who Flip Wilson was! A funny guy, Flip had a sketch on his TV variety show in which he would dress up as a woman, in red, do something totally outrageous and inappropriate and then, when called to task for 'her' behavior, use as the excuse, "The devil made me do it!"

Funny stuff, back then.

Last week, I was working through something with one of my mentors when she pulled out her Tarot deck. (I can see some of your eyes rolling around in their sockets!) She thumbed through the deck until she came to the card she was seeking and pulled it out so we could talk about it in the context of my 'something'.

The study of the Tarot cards is woven into astrology, the study of the symbolism of Hebrew words and numbers and The Tree of Life. The Tarot has long been thought to be one of the finest explanatory records of the supreme mysteries and students of the Tarot who glean an understanding of its principles learn to apply this tradition and way of thinking to problem solving in modern life. The Tarot has been defined as "a key to the wisdom of the Ages".

My kindergarten understanding of this ancient knowledge could not begin to do it justice so I won't regurgitate too much of a bookish explanation of The Devil Tarot card. I do want to present the lesson, if you will, in the way it was presented to me by my mentor.

If you have never seen The Devil, card 15 in the Tarot deck, google it so you have a visual as a point of reference.

We are all stuck on some problem in our human development.

While the problem may be a universal one, we express our work with, through it, in our own unique and individual way. It is the same as the way in which we each express our genetics...as individual as our fingerprints. Even twins do not express their genetics in exactly the same manner.

For example, the 'problem' may be that we did not feel loved by our mother. That sense of being unloved and unloveable ("If my own mother didn't love me, how can anyone love me?) manifests itself as the inability to love oneself. But this may present itself as an eating disorder, drug abuse, bodily injury, insatiable sexual appetite, emotional disconnect, ending relationships before the other person can end them first, or sabotaging success. Because we have never learned how to love ourselves unconditionally, we are stuck just like a hamster in a cage on the wheel...going round and round, repeating the same hurtful behavior patterns, asking why we continue to do the thing that brings us so much pain.

This is where The Devil card comes in.

If you look at the card, a huge half man-half beast Devil is sitting on a pedestal, larger than life, with two dwarfed humans, a woman and a man, on either side. These figures are chained. Though they are chained, the loops of the chains are only loosely draped around their necks.

In fact the loops of the chains are so large that, at any time, they might life them off their heads.

Their bondage is imaginary.

"This Tarot card represents the first stage of spiritual unfoldment. It is the stage of conscious bondage. The Devil personifies the false conception that man is bound by material conditions, the false notion that he is a slave to necessity, a sport of chance.

In truth, the forces which appear to be our adversaries are always ready to serve us. The one condition is that we understand our essential freedom and take account of the hidden side of existence.....The Devil is sensation, divorced by ignorance from understanding. Yet he is also what brings renewal, because we can make no real effort to be free until we feel our limitations. Until they irk us, we can make no effort to strike off our chains." (The Tarot, by Paul Foster Case)

The lesson my mentor wanted me to learn is that at any time I can choose to be free from the disempowering thoughts which enslave me. At any time, I can say enough. At any time, I can decide to live differently. At any time, I can change my perception of my life.

...so I take these chains from round my neck and dance in the moonlight.

What's the Rush?

I'm a Libra.

This is the seventh sign of the Zodiac, the sign of the cross and the sword, related to the symbolism of the number seven, and the sign for equilibrium, on both the cosmic and the psychic planes, and concerning both social and inward legality and justice.

It is said that the balance of the scales designates the equilibrium between the solar world and the planetary manifestation, between the spiritual ego of Man and the external ego, or the personality.

Learn to be who you are, not what you are.

It likewise indicates the equilibrium between good and evil; for, like Man, the scales has two tendencies, symbolized by the two symmetrically disposed pans, one tending towards the Scorpion (denoting the world of desires) and the other towards the sign of Virgo (sublimation).

Learn to balance out your inner tendencies.

The seventh sign pertains to human relations and to the union of the spirit within itself...to spiritual and mental health. It is a symbol of inner harmony and of the intercommunication between the left side (the unconscious, or matter) and the right (the consciousness, or spirit).

As a Libra, one has the ability to see both sides of something so clearly that a strong case could be made for either one. What appears to others to be indecisiveness or inertia is actually the desire to make the best possible decision when presented with two very viable choices.

I sometimes lament this trait in myself: weighing the options, taking so long to make a choice, wanting the thing chosen to be the best, not just for myself, but for all involved. It is frustrating for others. No less so for myself!

A friend recently sent me a wonderful poem by Rumi, which came at the perfect time...once again, an affirmation that The Universe wants us to thrive, be well, be happy, be whole. I share it with you, in the loving spirit in which it was given to me.

"... Deliberation is one of the qualities of God

Throw a dog a bit of something

He sniffs to see if he wants it.

Be that careful.

Sniff with your wisdom-nose.

Get clear. Then decide.

The universe came into being gradually

over six days. God could have

just commanded,

Be!

Little by little a person reaches forty and fifty

and sixty, and feels more complete.

God could have thrown

full-blown prophets flying through

the cosmos in an instant.

Jesus said one word

and a dead man sat up,

but creation usually unfolds,

like calm breakers.

Constant slow movement teaches us

to keep working

like a small creek that stays clear,

that doesn't stagnate but finds a way

through numerous details, deliberately.

Deliberation is born of joy,

like a bird from an egg.

Birds don't resemble eggs!

Think how different the hatching out is.

A white leathery snake egg, a sparrow's egg,

a quince seed, an apple seed: very different things

look similar at one stage.

These leaves, our bodily personalities seem identical

but the globe of soul fruit

we make,

each is elaborately

unique."

Know that it takes as long as it takes and that you are always

going to be given the opportunity to 'get it right'.