ANGELS

It's Christmas Day.

Every year, at this time, The Dallas Morning News reruns a column written by the late Paul Crume entitled "Angels among us". It is heartwarming, bittersweet, hopeful...touches a cord within the reader at his or her emotional level that instant.

Every year, I reread this column and I am touched in my most vulnerable place at that time in my life. This day is no exception.

There is a quote in the article from Francis Thompson, a late-19th-century English poet who lived a life we might describe as one of quiet desperation on his way toward posthumous immortality. I don't remember this quote from all the other times I have read the article. But that is part of the beauty of life...there is always something fresh to be gleaned from even the act of going back over something you have experienced before. The reason? You see it from the perspective of your growth since the last time. That is why myth is so powerful, why we can read and read again novels that made an impact the first time, why the archetypes are so important, why you can study "the mysteries" your entire lifetime and always have new insights and receive new information that is transformative. You also see it from the need you have at this point in time. It is often that need that transforms the lesson for us the second or third time around. The Universe is always sending us what we are seeking, whether we know it or accept the truth of that or not!

The quote: "The angels keep their ancient places. Turn but a stone, and start a wing."

How I love that! The imagery...turn but a stone, and start a wing.

This started a wondering. I can make a list of the people in my life who have been angels to me, who still are angels in my life. What about those angels I never recognized as such?

I have to stop right here to interject something that just happened as I

am writing this. A text comes on my phone from someone I have only

met, in a store, twice in my life...a beautiful soul inside and out. She wishes

me a Merry Christmas and the thought of her energy makes me so

happy, so grateful for having the experience of her that I know I have

been touched by an angel...just now!

Where was I?! Oh, yes!

What about the angels in my life that were just fleeting glimpses, not unlike the shadow of a bird's wings as it flies overhead? What about the angel that lives inside me, whose voice speaks to me, at times in whispers, other times more insistently? What about the divine plan that is a promise to each of us, even if we don't heed its call? Is that not a form of angel? What about the hope that I have been or may yet be an angel to someone who needs one?

The article closes with these lines: "There is an angel close to you this day. Merry Christmas, and I wish you well."

May you feel the beat of the wings.

"NO." IT'S NOT THE SAME AS 'BAH, HUMBUG!'

Hard to believe I would write a blog about saying "no" during this holiday season, huh.

In the light of gift-giving during the holidays, a client brought by delicious gluten-free, home baked brownies and butterscotch fudge squares. Sweetly wrapped for the season, each goody bag contained a card with an affirmation printed on the back. "Pick your affirmation," this friend urged, adding that it would be exactly the one I needed since the Universe would guide my hand in choosing it. She waited, with a beautiful smile on her face, for me to open and read mine.

"Unless you are capable of saying no, your yes is meaningless."

Frankly, I was disappointed, probably wanting to be told that I had mastered the art of unconditional love and that waiting for me in the parking lot was my tall, dark, ruggedly handsome soul mate. She, on the other hand, clapped her hands in glee, convinced that the affirmation was perfect for me.

"Isn't that just perfect for Claudia?", she asked my business partner.

The next morning, The Dallas Morning News featured an article in the business section titled "The Art of Rejection - Saying 'no' can raise the quality of your work and life alike".

Hmmmm. The Universe at work?

I was forced to examine this 'truth' anew. In the very first days of my work with my HLC coach, I had heard this phrase, as he tried to instill in me the idea of core values...knowing what was not just important to have in place in my life, but what was crucial to creating the life I wanted to live. Later on, when I started to study the Foundational Principles of Health, Paul Chef used that same phrase to drive home a similar point during a PPS Workshop. I thought I had been there, done that. So why was this being presented to me again?

I have never wanted to purposely hurt someone's feelings, so I have said yes to many things I truly did not want to do. Often, the experience proved to be more palatable that I would have first imagined. More honestly, I have said yes to things so that others wouldn't be angry with me, would "like" me. Again, I wasn't agreeing to eat fried worms, so there was no real downside to my participation. But there were many things I said yes to that were a real beat-down and I entered into them with a truly terrible attitude. Why do that to myself or others? What a waste.

I wasn't being authentic...wasn't being true to myself.

In fact, I was sacrificing myself.

I was putting the needs of everyone, every organization, before my needs

I was placing value on everything else, but me!

In the past four years, as I continue to work on my personal, professional and spiritual growth with my coach and other mentors in my life, I have gotten better at saying "no". I understand my needs and feel comfortable working for their fulfillment. I realize that we all have the same amount of time in the day; time is, however, a precious commodity and I don't want to waste it. (Of course, I don't count 'piddling' as a waste of time!) There are things my friends ask me to do that I have no interest in doing. I say so, hopefully, in the nicest way possible. I still don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I also understand when others don't want to do something I might suggest and allow them to make that choice for themselves. More importantly, I give myself permission to value what I value, no apologies or explanations required.

The bottom line is that as I value myself more, I allow myself to say no. It isn't selfishness, or a grinch-like attitude. It is taking care of myself, taking responsibility for myself...my health, my emotional well-being, my growth as a human. It is honoring my core values, spending time on things that I say are important to me.

I liked the quote in the DMN article on "The Art of Rejection":

"It's easier to say no with conviction when you have a real reason for

saying it. Know what you want to accomplish at work and the relation-

ships you want to have outside of work...When you can identify and embrace

your priorities and focus on what you want more of - you feel more justified

saying no in order to pursue those goals."

Thank you, Steph, not only for the treats, but for allowing me to focus again on my core values, especially during this hectic time of the year. Saying "No" can be a loving and beautiful affirmation of one's resolve to live authentically, fully, and in tune with those things that truly matter the most in one's life.

Merry...Happy...with love!