HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY...

...or as some single guys refer to it: "Hold Him Hostage" Day.

I am not romantic. I am soft-hearted and giving and - I hope - loving, but I am not romantic.

Valentine's Day is touted as the most romantic day of the year. It is the most lucrative day of the year for florists. Like any day in which there is an expectation, it can be stressful. You are dating, but don't know if you love him/her...to give a Valentine's gift or not? It is also stressful for those who don't have someone in their life...do you stay at home that night so people won't know you're single?...will you ever be loved?

I believe in love! I believe in physical love! I want to love and be loved, in every sense of the word, but I am not going to talk about that kind of love here. I believe LOVE is so much bigger than that.

"WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS NOW IS LOVE, SWEET LOVE. IT'S THE ONLY

THING THAT THERE'S JUST TOO LITTLE OF."

Whether you know this scientifically or not, emotion has a vibration to it. You've experienced it any time you have been angered by someone who takes a parking space you have been patiently waiting for. You feel it when you receive a compliment for something you've strived to accomplish. You feel the vibration when you have been criticized or demeaned...that sick, churning you might get in the pit of your stomach. Emotion can make you physically ill.

Love has an emotional vibration. I'm not talking about the mass media version here, although the hormones involved in Valentine's Day love can create physical manifestations! When we think of that kind of love we think of an intense emotional condition, containing physical attraction, control, possessiveness, addiction, eroticism, and novelty. This is often fleeting or grows and ebbs over time. Frustration in this kind of love may mask underlying anger and dependency. This is the kind of love that can "turn to hate", but it is more of a addictive sentimentality that stems from pride or a result of fear of being unloved and alone.

LOVE, all caps, is unconditional, unchanging, permanent: it does not fluctuate because it is a state of being, not a state of having.

I am a magnet for love that draws more of itself to me; I am a mirror that reflects

the love of Divine Intelligence out into the world. (Paraphrased from The Daily

Word.)

In Power vs. Force by David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D., there is a chart of emotional vibrations Dr. Hawkins calls a "Map of Consciousness". It is interesting to look at, finding how you 'vibrate' when you experience or create certain emotions in yourself. For example, the level of Shame is 20 and comes from Humiliation with a Miserable "Life-View". Anger is 150, stemming from Hate and a Life-View that is Antagonistic. Acceptance is 350...Reason, 400.

LOVE is 500. It comes from Reverence with a Life-View that is Benign. The process is Revelation and the God-View is Loving. (Just so you know, Enlightenment is 700-1000.)

"It is a forgiving, nurturing, and supportive way of relating to the world. Love isn't intellectual and doesn't proceed from the mind; Love emanates from the heart. It has the capacity to lift others and accomplish great feats because of its purity of motive." (Power vs. Force)

"Love lifts us up where we belong."

This LOVE 'takes no position', sees no barriers, is inclusive and global, augmenting that which is positive by dissolving negativity. Dr. Hawkins writes that this is the level of true happiness, but only 0.4 percent of the world's population ever reaches this level of evolution. And yet, we are fascinated by love...drunk on it...bereft of it...ignorant of it.

I do not foresee reaching 500! but I practice forgiveness and gratitude. I embrace the love I am able to enjoy...there are all different kinds of love. I may sound undiscriminating, but I feel 'loving' this way creates joy in my soul and may bring me to the big LOVE. I love a good laugh. I love fireworks and fireflies. I love lazy Sunday mornings. I love a stone cottage. I love my kid. I love the smell of a pine forest. I love polar bears. I love looking at a fine specimen of a man. I love feeling I have made a difference, if even for a moment, in someone's life. I love getting a compliment. I love giving one. I love what I see in the women I choose to spend time with. I love how physical touch feels. I love a blue Texas sky. I love the imprint of my grandmother on me, in me. I am working on truly loving myself.

"...learning to love myself is the greatest love of all."

On this Valentine's Day, I wish you love and LOVE as I wish it for myself. But as the Buddha said, "It is better to travel well than to arrive." so keep on keeping on!

More great quotes...

"The language of love is the only way." lyrics by Heart

"The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart." Buddha

"Do you want to enter paradise?

To walk the path of Truth

You need the grace of God.

We all face death in the end.

But on the way, be careful

Never to hurt a human heart!

Rumi

"If you want a love message to be heard. it has got to be sent out.

To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it."

Mother Teresa

"All you need is love...ya ta da ta dah (blare of brass section). All you need is love.

(brass again). All you need is love, love. Love is all you need." Beatles

...and I love you.

ANOTHER YEAR? ANOTHER YEAR!

One month before my 61st. birthday, I embarked upon a learning that would change my life.

That was five years ago. I changed my body, my view of the world and my place in it, my acceptance of responsibility for myself, my food, my exercise, my problem solving, my career...my life.

Part of that meant leaving a marriage of 40 years, breaking up a family. I felt an incredible sense of peace for the first time in a long time, maybe ever...being alone, being quiet, being focused on how I wanted my days to be structured, being aware of the rhythm and flow I needed in order to live to my fullest.

A year into that, I started to panic. I had grown so much, had changed how I viewed relationships, had done so much work on the inner me and I was a hottie, but I was alone. I felt that I was a lot to go to waste. I worried that I would never be loved, that I would never have some one to love. I allowed this to create a sadness in me at the very time I was doing what I loved doing and was creating what I wanted to create.

This made me know I had just seen the tip of the iceberg, that I still had a tremendous amount of attitude correction to make. I wanted to grow to the place where I could mean it when I said that I was enough for myself; that my happiness, fulfillment, life did not depend on whether someone else was in it with me. Not an easy task, but I have made great progress!

Five years later, the goals I have set for my physical body continue to be met. I work every day on the spiritual body...that will never end. My big challenge is my mental body for I can be lazy.

I am still a 'hottie', but with more wrinkles! I am still alone.

Aging and being female can be so challenging for women. I live in Dallas...more silicone and hair products than most cities in the country! Every day I see women who have spent thousands of dollars on cosmetic surgery in an attempt to turn back the clock. Some of these women look good - we say they look "rested" down here in Texas! Others look like caricatures of themselves. There is a sadness in that to me.

I could have work done on my face and look 'rested' too. But then I have a neck, hands, tummy that might belie my face. Where do you stop? And even if I did all that, spent tens of thousands of dollars on surgery, I would just look like a 66 year old woman terrified of getting 'old'. How could I have a tummy tuck, when my jagged caesarian scar represents life for my only child? I don't like pain, don't like the idea of foreign stuff in my body, and don't want to have to stop my exercise program or my life during the recovery period. Clearly, I am not a candidate for the knife!

When I look ahead and 'see' less in front of me than behind me, it is sobering. I want to live forever, to quote a song lyric! Do I want to go back to the 70's, 80's? Absolutely not.

I have created peace, stillness in my life, but, more importantly, I am creating peace and stillness in me. I joke that often I feel like Benjamin Button...my life is so very different from that of my lifelong friends. I am building a business, continuing to develop knowledge and skills in a relatively new career, while they are retired or cutting back, traveling even more than we used to, and enthralled with grandparenting. There is no judgement here, just fact.

Would I change anything about these last five years? That's a silly question! We do what we are able to do at the time. I needed to go through every second of the entirety of my life in order to arrive where I am and be ready to go where I am supposed to go from here.

What I believe is that the best face lift is a smile. Cosmetic surgery should be thought of as the corrections one makes by 'cutting out' the destructive thoughts which lead to disempowering emotions that create feelings of sadness, lack of worth, bitterness, pain, anger, feelings of loss, loneliness and inadequacy. Life is either too short or too long depending on how it is being lived. You can be really old at 40!

My girlfriends and I are growing old gracefully. Our sense of humor helps. We must be doing something right: at a recent dinner at Charley Palmer's in the Joule Hotel, the gentleman seated next to us said he was glad to be by the Sex in the City table!

Another year? Bring it on!

DON'T RAIN ON YOUR PARADE!

Happiness in an inside job.

I didn't make that up, say it first, but I say - and think - it all the time because it is true.

Ditto for enthusiasm and anticipation and a positive outlook...all inside jobs.

The mind has a thought that triggers an emotion that leads to a feeling. All internal stuff. (Okay, some of the thoughts may be based upon memes from society or our folks that are not empowering, but that is for a different discussion.)

The point here is that happiness, enthusiasm, positive outlook are inside jobs. So why can one word or action from another dampen our joy, spirits, and perspective on something from one moment to the next? Hasn't that other person - an outside 'job' - created our state of mind, our emotions, our feelings?

Absolutely not!

Another person only has the power over me that I allow them to have. If I am confident, have a plan, believe in the plan and myself, or just want the fun of trying to create something, nothing, no word from anyone can deter me from the feelings I have created. If I am unsure or have no faith in my abilities, and someone expresses negative thought to me, doubt I suddenly feel is doubt that I have created in my mind, by an emotion (fear) that turns into that feeling of doubt.

When that happens, I have rained on my own parade!

This is just another way of saying that we create our life: our past, our present, and our destiny. Our life doesn't happen while we are out somewhere. Our feelings are not manufactured by the person on the street, even if she is our mother! This is great because when we take responsibility for how our life looks, we don't have to expend precious energy in trying to find someone to blame!

So think, emote, and feel. Be happy, enthusiastic, and positive. Plan, create and experience. But take an umbrella, just in case; you could get wet from someone else raining on their parade!

IT ISN'T 'ROCKET SURGERY'!

When my friend used that expression the other day, I laughed myself silly. She did so on purpose: combining two well-worn phrases that speak to how easy something is supposed to be when compared with something that is really difficult.

I laugh every time I even think about my new favorite phrase. And I've been thinking about it alot.

Surgery is the removal of something that doesn't belong, is life-threatening, impedes something vital...it is cutting out a toxic thing.

A rocket is meant for infinity and beyond, goes to the moon, shoots to the stars...it is fireworks in the night sky.

I would like you to think now about what stands in the way of your happiness, peace of mind, serenity, joy, love, calmness, accomplishment, acceptance of self. Think about how you would feel, could feel, if you cut out that toxic thought or belief that roots you to the very spot in which you stand.

Cut out the disempowering meme. Think differently. Feel your potential. Immerse in your purpose. Envelop yourself in unconditional love and take the rocket ride of your life.

Perhaps all happiness requires is a little 'rocket surgery'.

GRATEFUL AS CAN BE

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day.

I am grateful that I'm going to my friend Melanie's house!

She is a wonderful cook, has a beautiful home, is the matriarch of a lovely family...sons, daughters-in-law, grandkids, and friends galore. I feel lucky to be invited even though we are eating in her garage! Actually, Melanie has a garage floor clean enough to eat off of, holiday or not. I don't have to cook: just show up with some gluten-free corn bread stuffing.

I am grateful for Chef Susan, who made the gluten-free stuffing!

Susan is so gifted...as a chef and as a writer, intelligent with a sense of humor that can keep me laughing until the tears roll down my cheeks! She is the mother of wonderful twin girls, also

intelligent, with a sense of humor, and talented who just happen to be on the spectrum for Autism. Listening to Susan talk about this journey she and her husband and daughters are on has been extremely humbling. Some things are achingly funny. Some things just make me ache. I admire her patience and dedication to giving these girls the very best care and education, even if the stress often wrecks havoc on her physical and emotional body.

I am grateful my daughter is healthy.

Kelsey will be 40 years old on November 28th. I cannot say my mothering skills were finely honed. Many times, I can say I have felt like a failure as a mom. But being a mother has been an opportunity to know a love like no other. Though I am not sure that I would actually throw myself in front of a bus to save her, she is the only person on earth for whom I would even think about doing such a thing! Motherhood made me a less selfish person than I would have been otherwise. There is not much I ask of the Universe: keep my child healthy and safe from harm. Thank you.

I am also grateful that our mother-daughter relationship has flourished in the past four years, that we are growing into an unconditional love for each other, that we do not need to place demands on each other because we are secure in the love we share.

Would that every parent-child relationship could be so. It is so freeing for both parent and child. The letting-go on the part of the parent does not create distance. It actually draws the child closer. You want to be together. You don't get together because you feel you have to. I have my kid to thank for this...she set the standard to create boundaries in our relationship which led to this freedom and acceptance.

I am grateful for my independence, that I am finally growing up!

Trust me, I have fought it tooth and nail. I have been a loner who needed to not be alone! Now that I have chosen to be alone, there is such a sense of peace in my life. It has also given me the opportunity to learn to take care of myself, make reasoned, thoughtful decisions. I have taken responsibility for myself. I'm not perfect at it, but I am grabbing the bull by the horns. Sometimes, the bull wins, but I'm fighting the good fight and I do like a tight fitting pant!

I am grateful to my former husband for creating a secure life for our family when I so needed someone to take care of me.

I am also grateful for the manner in which he allowed me to leave our marriage.

I am grateful for my sense of humor! Period.

I am grateful that I still recognize I have work to do on myself and have the energy and spirit to do it.

My path to health and self-acceptance has not been a straight one. It has taken twists and turns, many times screeching to a dead halt. However, I have never given up on myself nor the hope that I could find the key to unlock a door of my own making. The human spirit is a remarkable thing. I have often likened it to an intricately woven spider's web...able to withstand buffeting winds yet fragile enough to be destroyed by the flick of a wrist. I don't know why some spirits can be dashed and extinguished, but I am ever so thankful that I can persevere.

I am grateful that I have work to do - grace through purpose. My business partner is dedicated, talented, a skilled coach and trainer.

Thank you, Scott.

I am grateful for the beauty I see in the lives around me!

Lauren and Roland in a new house, with a new baby...Emma taking course work which will allow her to fulfill her dream...Suzanne and Scott beginning their life together after so many years together...Dan being healed enough to find the perfect new dog...Legacy clients reclaiming their health so that they can imagine life uncompromised by pain and injury.

Hope abounds. People persevere. Life is good.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

FAKE OR THE REAL THING?

No, I not talking about boobs although, in Dallas, to not have breast implants takes a lot of courage!

I'm talking about food.

Every time we grocery shop and put a product in our shopping cart, we are sending a message to ourselves and to others: this is who I am...this is what I am made of...this is a core value.

If I choose margarine instead of organic butter or Ghee, it's like I am wearing a gaudy, bawdy T-shirt that says "I don't give a %@*^ about what goes in my body and I'm proud of it". Essentially, if I buy a food product that is actually something that was created in a laboratory instead of by nature, I am saying that I am fine with ingesting petrol-chemical products that have no food value and may be seriously toxic to my system. I am also saying that I am okay with these poisons being on the market so that others can feed them to their families.

But I'm not okay with it. When it comes to the state of child health in America, I am really not okay with it.

The Dallas Morning News ran an article last week that stated it is now a recommendation that children be tested for high cholesterol. This is insanity, folks.

What I really don't understand is how intelligent people with the wealth of information on hand about food, chemicals in the food, in the soil, nutritional needs, and the statistics on childhood diabetes (now this cholesterol thing) can continue to buy into the American C.R.A.P. Diet - Conventional...Refined...Additives...Preservatives.

The only reason I can come up with that explains this behavior is that their minds have been impaired because they have been eating fake their entire lives. I may sound like a broken record but "Eat cleanly. Think clearly. Live fully!"

We need real food in order to run our hormonal, digestive, cleansing, and neurological pathways. Garbage in, garbage out. Do you want your blood cells, the millions created every day, to be the stuff of iced tea sweetened with the chemical called aspartame, or pure, un-chlorinated water? Do you want your sex hormones to be made from something that came out of a petri dish or something that has the natural building blocks our body needs?

http://www.westonaprice.org/know-your-fats/questions-and-misconceptions-on-fats-and-oils

Most people wouldn't talk up the bogus art piece they purchased or that the five-carat diamond they are wearing is a fake. Many women who do choose to have plastic surgery deny it. People don't want to advertise that what they have or do isn't real. But when you run a boxed or canned food through the check out line at the supermarket, your T-shirt says "Fake as a fake can be."

Eat better. Feel better. Look better. Teach your children the difference by supporting their chance to thrive in an increasingly toxic world. Live more authentically because you are eating that way.

You are what eat. Eat real food.

And, by the way, my boobs are real...just saying, though that's not saying much!

What iPod Can Teach Us About Ourselves

In a 2006 interview with Newsweek, Steve Jobs said: "Look at the design of a lot of consumer products - they're really complicated surfaces. We tried to make something much more holistic and simple. When you first start off trying to solve a problem, the first solutions you come up with are very complex, and most people stop there. But if you keep going, and live with the problem and peel more layers of the onion off, you can often-times arrive at some very elegant and simple solutions."

Substitute yourself for the iPod.

Think about it.

As we have 'survived' our lives, we have made ourselves very complicated products...layer after layer of personae, each with its light and shadow sides, some recognized and honored, others despised and hidden even from ourselves. In an effort to become whole, become happier, live more authentically, we do attempt to peel off these layers like peeling off the layers of an onion. Sometimes, it is too painful. Sometimes, we are too invested in our "story". Sometimes, we are afraid that if we peel away too much, there won't be anything left of us. Sometimes, we give up because it is too difficult to "live with the problem" until we are better equipped to craft a solution.

But if we persevere, if we have a good 'coach' or mentor, we are able to arrive at a very elegant and simple self.

This is our true self. This is the person we are born to be.

Rest in peace, Steve Jobs.