Guns and Performance and Wellness?

Many of you may have asked that question when Legacy posted an invitation to join our group for a day Immersion with Scott Phillips, former Navy SEAL, who teaches seminars in Hand Gun safety and shooting technique...the Navy SEAL way!

It may not seem to fit a business model dedicated to facilitating change in our clients who come for nutritional counseling, performance training, strength and conditioning, lifestyle modification...

...but it does make sense if you think of this outing in terms of one of our mottos:  Eat Clean.  Play Hard.  Live Fully!

Just as a proper exercise program with a progression of work load to time frame increases fitness by intelligent stressing of the muscles, so does embarking on something outside one's comfort zone strengthen one's mental and emotional systems through perturbation of those systems.  Mental toughness and agility are critical to living a healthy life, especially in our stressful environment and as one ages.

And how many chances are we given to do something that scares us, makes us uncomfortable, but in a safe way, with a group of people you trust and with whom you are developing 'tribe'.

Even though I grew up in an extended family of mountain men, living in the Colorado Rockies and hunting and fishing, I had never touched a gun and didn't think I ever wanted to do so!  I called deer hunting 'killing Bambi'.  I couldn't imagine having a loaded gun in the house for fending off an intruder unless I planned on killing myself before he could make it back to my bedroom!  So imagine my surprise when I was actually looking forward to the Hand Gun Immersion.

It is easy to remove any intellectual sticking points from the exercise if you view the experience of shooting a gun as a life metaphor:  you set a goal...you have a plan to accomplish that goal...there are steps in the plan that need to be learned and mastered in order to attain the goal...thought and mental focus are needed every time you practice this new step toward mastery...practice, practice, practice creates fluidity and strength...repetition equals success.

Doing something that scares the bejeezus out of you is a powerful experience.  This builds confidence as you eye the next challenge, whatever it may be.  And it is fun!

Why Not With People?

Kintsugi (金継ぎ^?) (Japanese: golden joinery) is the Japanese art of fixing broken pottery with a lacquer resin sprinkled with powdered gold.


     "When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold.
      They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful."
      Barbara Bloom


When I read this quote, I was immediately taken with the idea.  I thought how wonderful it would be if this could be applied to people...broken, suffering, damaged people who have survived pain, heartache, loss.  Survived and lived on as witness to their history, as a testament to the spirit of man, as a beacon to the rest of us.


What if all those who have been buffeted by life were filled with gold dust so that all those hurt places shown and glittered in the light?  It would be like going to India and seeing the Holy Men in the streets, luminescent with their journey, aglow with the experience of living.  I can visualize all the lines and crevices, all the wounds and scars being filled with precious metal.  What a blinding light there would be!


Then think how wonderful it would be if those among us with the most mended parts were honored and revered for the wisdom gained, because of the beauty the struggle had created.

I BELIEVE IN THE EASTER BUNNY...

...the Tooth Fairy, and Santa Claus.

I have always loved the idea of a magical being, one who knows where you live, when you lose a tooth, or what you want under the tree.

I loved waking up on Easter , anticipating there would be a basket by my bed, filled with goodies, green cellophane grass cradling chocolate bunnies and foil wrapped chocolate eggs. The ritual of dying hard boiled eggs and then decorating them was looked forward to each year...the kitchen table covered with bowls of spring colored dyes, decals scattered around the table, with me, my mom and dad, "creating" oval beauties. The most fun was the traditional Easter egg hunt in the backyard. My dad would never tire of hiding the eggs, often in plain sight, and I never tired of trying to find all of them. Over and over, he would hide and I would seek.

I was devastated in third grade when my best friend told me that there was no Santa Claus. Running home with tears rolling down my cheeks, I pleaded with my parents to say she was lying. I was so angry with her. Why did she have to spoil everything? I wanted to believe in the fairy tale of life.

Perhaps being an only child, moving from oil field town to oil field town literally every year, being alone so much of my growing up years, created my need to believe in something sweet and dear and beautiful. There is a part of me that still would like to wake up Christmas morning to a gift that no one knows anything about, proof that there really is a Santa and eight tiny reindeer!

I never asked what the Tooth Fairy could possibly want with all those baby teeth! Kinda' creepy, when you think about that.

Obviously, I was desperate to have something to believe in, something outside my human experience, something to trust in, depend upon, be comforted by. So why is faith in God so difficult for me? Intellectually, I know this comes from my mother and her struggle with faith, feeling she wasn't worthy of God's love. I'm grown now, and you'd think I would have been able to jettison the parental memes and fears by this time.

There's a song in the movie Gypsy (about Gypsy Rose Lee, the quintessence of a stripper), "You Gotta Have a Gimmick." Maybe that's what God needs to speak to me... maybe gift bags, or a big "I'm Number One" hand in purple and gold, or a pimped up ride, driven by angels, running lights flashing and harp music blaring.

Maybe, as Bertrand Russell, said, I need to have faith because I have nothing to lose either way: if there is a loving God and I have tried to live a good life, I will be 'rewarded in heaven'...if there is no God and I have lived a good life, well, then I have lived a good, honorable life. I win either way.

Or maybe I need to understand that every time I have said things would be alright, something would work out, that I'd be okay...and they did and I was...that God was in the mix.

FOR SALE!

Two years ago, I put my home up for sale.

Right after my divorce, I felt there had been enough change in my life. It was so important for me to stay in the place I had lived for 20 plus years...this oasis I had created for my family. Oddly enough, even though my former husband was very involved in our home - the business executive even painted rooms in crazy colors for me - the space was so much me that I didn't feel his presence after he left. I did, however, do several Sage-ings...Sage and Tequila parties with my girlfriends...to remove any left over energy!

Two years ago, during the worst real estate market one can imagine, I felt I was ready to move on, create a new type of life for myself. My house went on the market, but I did not get one offer...no one even insulted me with a ridiculously low bid! When I look back, what a good thing. At that time, I never cleaned out a closet, never went through cabinets, drawers, nothing. I never tossed away anything. I don't think I was mentally, emotionally ready to leave. I just didn't know it.

This time that is not the case. It has been so cleansing to go through stuff and toss things! I even found items that I had forgotten I had stashed away. I am a really good hider...I had no idea I would find the things I have come across. It's been like day after day of finding $100.00 in a pair of jeans you haven't worn in a long time or a handbag you haven't carried for months!

Two years ago, I would look around my home and go out in my back yard and say to myself, "This is so beautiful, how can I even think of leaving?" Now I say, "My house is so beautiful someone is going to see it and not be able to live without it!"

Big difference.

Now I am truly ready to move on. What a good thing. What a difference two years can make!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY...

...or as some single guys refer to it: "Hold Him Hostage" Day.

I am not romantic. I am soft-hearted and giving and - I hope - loving, but I am not romantic.

Valentine's Day is touted as the most romantic day of the year. It is the most lucrative day of the year for florists. Like any day in which there is an expectation, it can be stressful. You are dating, but don't know if you love him/her...to give a Valentine's gift or not? It is also stressful for those who don't have someone in their life...do you stay at home that night so people won't know you're single?...will you ever be loved?

I believe in love! I believe in physical love! I want to love and be loved, in every sense of the word, but I am not going to talk about that kind of love here. I believe LOVE is so much bigger than that.

"WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS NOW IS LOVE, SWEET LOVE. IT'S THE ONLY

THING THAT THERE'S JUST TOO LITTLE OF."

Whether you know this scientifically or not, emotion has a vibration to it. You've experienced it any time you have been angered by someone who takes a parking space you have been patiently waiting for. You feel it when you receive a compliment for something you've strived to accomplish. You feel the vibration when you have been criticized or demeaned...that sick, churning you might get in the pit of your stomach. Emotion can make you physically ill.

Love has an emotional vibration. I'm not talking about the mass media version here, although the hormones involved in Valentine's Day love can create physical manifestations! When we think of that kind of love we think of an intense emotional condition, containing physical attraction, control, possessiveness, addiction, eroticism, and novelty. This is often fleeting or grows and ebbs over time. Frustration in this kind of love may mask underlying anger and dependency. This is the kind of love that can "turn to hate", but it is more of a addictive sentimentality that stems from pride or a result of fear of being unloved and alone.

LOVE, all caps, is unconditional, unchanging, permanent: it does not fluctuate because it is a state of being, not a state of having.

I am a magnet for love that draws more of itself to me; I am a mirror that reflects

the love of Divine Intelligence out into the world. (Paraphrased from The Daily

Word.)

In Power vs. Force by David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D., there is a chart of emotional vibrations Dr. Hawkins calls a "Map of Consciousness". It is interesting to look at, finding how you 'vibrate' when you experience or create certain emotions in yourself. For example, the level of Shame is 20 and comes from Humiliation with a Miserable "Life-View". Anger is 150, stemming from Hate and a Life-View that is Antagonistic. Acceptance is 350...Reason, 400.

LOVE is 500. It comes from Reverence with a Life-View that is Benign. The process is Revelation and the God-View is Loving. (Just so you know, Enlightenment is 700-1000.)

"It is a forgiving, nurturing, and supportive way of relating to the world. Love isn't intellectual and doesn't proceed from the mind; Love emanates from the heart. It has the capacity to lift others and accomplish great feats because of its purity of motive." (Power vs. Force)

"Love lifts us up where we belong."

This LOVE 'takes no position', sees no barriers, is inclusive and global, augmenting that which is positive by dissolving negativity. Dr. Hawkins writes that this is the level of true happiness, but only 0.4 percent of the world's population ever reaches this level of evolution. And yet, we are fascinated by love...drunk on it...bereft of it...ignorant of it.

I do not foresee reaching 500! but I practice forgiveness and gratitude. I embrace the love I am able to enjoy...there are all different kinds of love. I may sound undiscriminating, but I feel 'loving' this way creates joy in my soul and may bring me to the big LOVE. I love a good laugh. I love fireworks and fireflies. I love lazy Sunday mornings. I love a stone cottage. I love my kid. I love the smell of a pine forest. I love polar bears. I love looking at a fine specimen of a man. I love feeling I have made a difference, if even for a moment, in someone's life. I love getting a compliment. I love giving one. I love what I see in the women I choose to spend time with. I love how physical touch feels. I love a blue Texas sky. I love the imprint of my grandmother on me, in me. I am working on truly loving myself.

"...learning to love myself is the greatest love of all."

On this Valentine's Day, I wish you love and LOVE as I wish it for myself. But as the Buddha said, "It is better to travel well than to arrive." so keep on keeping on!

More great quotes...

"The language of love is the only way." lyrics by Heart

"The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart." Buddha

"Do you want to enter paradise?

To walk the path of Truth

You need the grace of God.

We all face death in the end.

But on the way, be careful

Never to hurt a human heart!

Rumi

"If you want a love message to be heard. it has got to be sent out.

To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it."

Mother Teresa

"All you need is love...ya ta da ta dah (blare of brass section). All you need is love.

(brass again). All you need is love, love. Love is all you need." Beatles

...and I love you.

ANOTHER YEAR? ANOTHER YEAR!

One month before my 61st. birthday, I embarked upon a learning that would change my life.

That was five years ago. I changed my body, my view of the world and my place in it, my acceptance of responsibility for myself, my food, my exercise, my problem solving, my career...my life.

Part of that meant leaving a marriage of 40 years, breaking up a family. I felt an incredible sense of peace for the first time in a long time, maybe ever...being alone, being quiet, being focused on how I wanted my days to be structured, being aware of the rhythm and flow I needed in order to live to my fullest.

A year into that, I started to panic. I had grown so much, had changed how I viewed relationships, had done so much work on the inner me and I was a hottie, but I was alone. I felt that I was a lot to go to waste. I worried that I would never be loved, that I would never have some one to love. I allowed this to create a sadness in me at the very time I was doing what I loved doing and was creating what I wanted to create.

This made me know I had just seen the tip of the iceberg, that I still had a tremendous amount of attitude correction to make. I wanted to grow to the place where I could mean it when I said that I was enough for myself; that my happiness, fulfillment, life did not depend on whether someone else was in it with me. Not an easy task, but I have made great progress!

Five years later, the goals I have set for my physical body continue to be met. I work every day on the spiritual body...that will never end. My big challenge is my mental body for I can be lazy.

I am still a 'hottie', but with more wrinkles! I am still alone.

Aging and being female can be so challenging for women. I live in Dallas...more silicone and hair products than most cities in the country! Every day I see women who have spent thousands of dollars on cosmetic surgery in an attempt to turn back the clock. Some of these women look good - we say they look "rested" down here in Texas! Others look like caricatures of themselves. There is a sadness in that to me.

I could have work done on my face and look 'rested' too. But then I have a neck, hands, tummy that might belie my face. Where do you stop? And even if I did all that, spent tens of thousands of dollars on surgery, I would just look like a 66 year old woman terrified of getting 'old'. How could I have a tummy tuck, when my jagged caesarian scar represents life for my only child? I don't like pain, don't like the idea of foreign stuff in my body, and don't want to have to stop my exercise program or my life during the recovery period. Clearly, I am not a candidate for the knife!

When I look ahead and 'see' less in front of me than behind me, it is sobering. I want to live forever, to quote a song lyric! Do I want to go back to the 70's, 80's? Absolutely not.

I have created peace, stillness in my life, but, more importantly, I am creating peace and stillness in me. I joke that often I feel like Benjamin Button...my life is so very different from that of my lifelong friends. I am building a business, continuing to develop knowledge and skills in a relatively new career, while they are retired or cutting back, traveling even more than we used to, and enthralled with grandparenting. There is no judgement here, just fact.

Would I change anything about these last five years? That's a silly question! We do what we are able to do at the time. I needed to go through every second of the entirety of my life in order to arrive where I am and be ready to go where I am supposed to go from here.

What I believe is that the best face lift is a smile. Cosmetic surgery should be thought of as the corrections one makes by 'cutting out' the destructive thoughts which lead to disempowering emotions that create feelings of sadness, lack of worth, bitterness, pain, anger, feelings of loss, loneliness and inadequacy. Life is either too short or too long depending on how it is being lived. You can be really old at 40!

My girlfriends and I are growing old gracefully. Our sense of humor helps. We must be doing something right: at a recent dinner at Charley Palmer's in the Joule Hotel, the gentleman seated next to us said he was glad to be by the Sex in the City table!

Another year? Bring it on!

DON'T RAIN ON YOUR PARADE!

Happiness in an inside job.

I didn't make that up, say it first, but I say - and think - it all the time because it is true.

Ditto for enthusiasm and anticipation and a positive outlook...all inside jobs.

The mind has a thought that triggers an emotion that leads to a feeling. All internal stuff. (Okay, some of the thoughts may be based upon memes from society or our folks that are not empowering, but that is for a different discussion.)

The point here is that happiness, enthusiasm, positive outlook are inside jobs. So why can one word or action from another dampen our joy, spirits, and perspective on something from one moment to the next? Hasn't that other person - an outside 'job' - created our state of mind, our emotions, our feelings?

Absolutely not!

Another person only has the power over me that I allow them to have. If I am confident, have a plan, believe in the plan and myself, or just want the fun of trying to create something, nothing, no word from anyone can deter me from the feelings I have created. If I am unsure or have no faith in my abilities, and someone expresses negative thought to me, doubt I suddenly feel is doubt that I have created in my mind, by an emotion (fear) that turns into that feeling of doubt.

When that happens, I have rained on my own parade!

This is just another way of saying that we create our life: our past, our present, and our destiny. Our life doesn't happen while we are out somewhere. Our feelings are not manufactured by the person on the street, even if she is our mother! This is great because when we take responsibility for how our life looks, we don't have to expend precious energy in trying to find someone to blame!

So think, emote, and feel. Be happy, enthusiastic, and positive. Plan, create and experience. But take an umbrella, just in case; you could get wet from someone else raining on their parade!