MORE THOUGHTS ON "LOVING WHAT IS" WITH BYRON KATIE

In thinking about some of the thoughts presented by Katie during her lecture, I was struck with her comments on love and loving another. She believes that love is our natural condition, our purpose, if you will, as divined by the Universe.

If asked the question, "What is it the people are really looking for?", I feel many would answer it is to love and to be loved.

So...if this is what the Divine Creator wants for us, has sent us here to experience, and...if it is what we want for ourselves...why does it seem to be so difficult?

If love is our purpose, it should bring joy, feel good, complete us. How many times do we hear that "love hurts", that someone is "heartbroken", that love "sucks"? Why can love make us sad?

Expectation. It is our expectation of what we should receive that creates the problem.

If I love you, my feeling for you can create an expectation...a need...you must feel the same way about me. I am "giving" you my love, but I am expecting to "get" something back from you. If this doesn't come to me, or doesn't come wrapped in a package that I am expecting or can recognize, then I start "staying in your your business": does he love me? why doesn't he call me? if he loved me like I love him, he would want to spend more time with me? why doesn't he love me? what's wrong with him? what's wrong with me? is it over? No one will love me.

Now my gift of love is conditional...I will love you, but only if you behave in a certain way that I can recognize as love. And if you don't, I am hurt. Sadness rolls over me. I question myself. I question love. I experience "heartache".

However, if I give you the gift of my love simply because that is my natural state, that is the way I feel about you, it brings me joy to give my love to you...AND I EXPECT NOTHING IN RETURN...I am loving unconditionally.

No sadness can be the result of my loving you because my gift is one without strings attached. I expect nothing from you. I need nothing from you. I want nothing from you. So there can be no disappointment, no hurt, no "love sucks" moment. My love for you brings me joy because it feels good to be able to feel like that for another person. It means I am alive and living in my natural state. It means I am fulfilling my divine purpose. It means that I am loving purely for the bliss it brings to me.

Of course, I want to be with you, share things with you, make love with you. If these things don't occur, it doesn't negate my love for you or the joy I receive from loving you. I am filled with it and there is nothing you can do about it!

When this as the mind-set of love, everything changes.

You have a choice...to love me or not...to love me in a different way than I love you...to love me as you wish.

I am loving. Period.

Loving What Is - Byron Katie

When a friend sent a text message telling me Byron Katie would be lecturing in Dallas, I contacted several friends/clients, inviting them to join me on that Sunday evening to hear her speak. I had read several of her books and had listened to her talks on audio. I thought I was prepared to hear her in person, but I was in for a surprise.

Instead of being a gut-wrenching evening, filled with the sadness of people's lives, the three hours of The Work was so wonderful funny, packed with wit and irreverant humor, a gentle, loving poking at the seriousness with which people take themselves. If my eyes misted over, it was from laughter!

"Loving What Is" was a lecture about, what else, love.

Love as an experience, as 'the power', as a guilt-free state of mind, as unconditional, as offered without expectation of return, as joyful, as our own true nature, as the only way to peace...our own, that of others, that of the world.

One of the simpest but most profound concepts is that of "staying in your own business."

Katie sees only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, your, and God's. By God, she means reality...anything that is out of anyone's control is God's business.

"Much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our own business." Think about that.

If I am consumed with what you should do or, more likely, what you should not do, if all I can think about is how you are screwing up, if I am focused on all the ways in which your thoughts and deeds are wrong, I am living your life. And if I am spending all of my energy living your life...in your business...who is living my life? WHO IS LIVING MY LIFE?

Being mentally in another's business leaves me no time to be present in my own. Yet I wonder why my life isn't working. Even if I love you, it is sheer hubris to believe I know what is best for you. Do I know what is right for me? That is my work. That is my business.

Understanding the three kinds of business allows me to stay in my own. It frees me in a way I might never have thought possible. Katie suggests that the next time you feel stress or discomfort, ask yourself whose business you are minding and you may just enjoy a good laugh! Noticing whose business you are in can bring you back to your self and - in time - you may "come to see that you don't have any business either and that your life runs perfectly well on its own."

SOME GREAT QUOTES FROM THE EVENING

Everyone has a right to believe what they believe.

Guilt is a loveless state of mind.

Personalities don't love...they want something.

Open your mind to love or to suffer. The difficult thing is to NOT love. That is suffering.

As long as we believe our thoughts, we suffer.

Physical pain is a projection of mind.

We are the person we accuse the other of being.

For the mind to be right, it has to worship the thought it is holding.

Another human being cannot make us happy.

We wish for a young beautiful, healthy agile body. What we should work for is a young, beautiful, healthy, agile mind.

The Work is stillness, contemplation, open-mindedness. It is a fearlessness.

Harmony Books publishes Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

I Need Your Love - Is That True?

A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are

Question Your Thinking, Change the World: Quotations from Byron Katie

"Clean" Dallas Restaurants...An On-Going Search! Part 3

Wanna eat like a CAVEMAN?

We live in Texas, right? Home of the Longhorn STEER! Fort Worth STOCKYARDS!

If you can't get a hunk of meat here, where can you?

Dallas is known for its steak houses and there are several really great restaurants that offer clean, carnivore-friendly entrees.

There may be a small voice speaking inside your head, telling you that too much red meat should not be a part of your healthy diet. Remember, it is the quality of the meat, the "clean-ness" of the fat, the appropriateness of the diet fed the animals and the organic nature of the soil in which that GRASS is grown that determines the effect of the meat in your body. Fat is not bad...BAD FAT IS BAD!

For those of us who are fast oxidizers and need more protein, and a denser protein at that, get ready to make those dinner reservations! And try not to drool on your computer as you read this...bad manners. This is about GOOD FOOD!

AL BIERNAT'S

Al's is a Dallas institution and rightfully so. The most important thing to know is that this staff will bend over backwards to give you the food you want cooked the way you want. My thanks to manager, Victor Hugo, for his time in answering questions.

Both the lamb and the elk (yes, ELK!) are free-range and grown in Colorado. The salmon is WILD, not farm raised. During season, Al's brings in Copper River Salmon, as well as Keenan River Salmon. The beef is not grass fed, but the quality is top of the line for commercially raised, coming from Allen Brothers, one of the finest purveyors in that industry. There is also a Kobe/Angus 10 ounce Filet Mignon that is mouth-watering.

Al's Salad (a signature dish) is a delectable mix of hearts of palm, avocado, shrimp and crab in a Russian dressing. Coconut sorbet is a good way to end the meal...the Coconut Cream Pie is fabulous, just not gluten-free!

THE GRILL ON THE ALLEY

You may go on-line and print a copy of The Grill's Gluten Free Menu. Manager James Shull tells me the restaurant has worked with the Gluten Intolerance Group to create a menu that complies with gluten-free principles and is available for lunch and dinner.

The Australian Rack of Lamb is delicious. Lamb is one of the few meats you can assume is grass (not corn) fed no matter where you are dining. Although the salmon is not wild, the farming method is not the traditional one of small pens, close to shoreline, with feeding practices that are literally garbage. All trout and mahi mahi are WILD fish. The catfish is farm raised.

BOB'S STEAK AND CHOP HOUSE

At Bob's, the full Rack of Lamb is one of the best meals you will have anywhere. Period.

You may ask for a plain carrot, but the signature glazed carrot is so delicious...consider it dessert!

Cold Water Southern Australian Lobster Tails are WILD and wonderful. Roasted Duck is a treat. The salmon is farm raised. Steaks are prime, but commercially grown.

Sides, as in all these restaurants, may be ordered "your way"...steamed, lightly sauteed, the aim is to please. All desserts are made in house, but are not gluten-free.

GOOD FAT...BAD FAT

Good fat means the animal has been raised on a diet that is right for that animal's stomach...without antibiotics, growth hormones, chemicals, pesticides, fungicides. Eating good fat creates a higher sense of satisfaction, higher satiation. This means YOU EAT LESS, BUT YOUR BODY RECEIVES MORE NUTRITION. If you are eating meat that is not raised in this manner, you are getting bad fat. This means you should eat less, but you will probably eat more...it is less satisfying and has less nutritional value.

WHAT IS 'GRASS FED' AND WHY DOES IT MATTER?

Commercially raised food animals are not fed diets that mesh with their "metabolic" type. Cows, game, lamb and poultry are animals that - in their natural habitat - forage for food, eating IN THE FIELD, FREE-RANGE. Genetically, their stomach and body systems are engineered to function best when fed that natural way. This is the slow way. Profits are not made in the commercial food industry the slow way. These animals are fed corn, which puts fat on fast, but cannot be properly digested by their genetic stomachs. So the animals do not thrive. They then get growth hormones to get them to market before they get to sick, antibiotics to treat what diseases the diet has created and we haven't even talked about the soil in which the corn is grown...poisoned with fertilizers, chemicals, pesticides and fungicides. The fiber and fat of the meat from these animals is filled with the same toxins in the diets and the fields. Watch "Food, Inc."...you really never will look at food the same way again. EAT GRASS-FED, GRASS-FINISHED whenever you can.

CONTACT INFORMATION FOR THESE FINE ESTABLISHMENTS...

Al Biernat's 4217 Oak Lawn Avenue 214-219-2201 www.albiernats.com

The Grill on the Alley 13270 Dallas Parkway 214-459-1601 www.thegrill.com

Bob's Steak & Chop House 4300 Lemmon Avenue 214-528-9446

www.bobs-steakandchop.com

FYI: Classic pork is filled with nitrates. Go to AHZ Health and Wellness Coaching (on Facebook) to read the newsletter on Salt...

...The body needs to make cholesterol - it is the precursor to the production of all steroidal hormones (estrogen, progesterone, testosterone).

"Clean" Dallas Restaurants...An On-Going Search! Part 2

THE SCOOP ON DISH

The 'look' of DISH is open, chic, sleek and inviting at the same time! Even though one would think Dallas has done everything by now, this new restaurant has a fresh vibe. People are interesting even if not dressed in much besides black, but the black is anything but basic!

But this is about the food...

Flatbreads, starters, salads, 'main plates', sides, sandwiches and burgers, desserts...the first three categories being ample enough to share. Chef Brian Sommers offers almost everything 'gluten free'...crab dip and the five cheese orecchiette being notable exceptions. Burgers can be bun-less without sacrificing taste. If you can judge a restaurant by the simplest dish on the menu, DISH has a lock on fresh, light, perfection. Fran's Texas Free Range Roasted Chicken is outstanding...moist free range chicken half with a perfectly crisped skin, served in a light broth with pearl onions, olives, and French green beans.

IF NOT FOWL, THEN WHAT?

Smothered Pork Chop is a beautiful presentation with a stuffing of apple wood bacon, pearl onions and sweet apple on a bed of sauteed arugula. Heaven! Short Ribs are supposed to be fall-off-the-bone good. The Arugula Salad is enough for three with pulled salmon, tomatoes, almonds, cranberries and feta cheese lightly dressed in a citrus vinaigrette. Though not gluten free, the Lemon Ice Box Pie with Toasted Meringue is wonderful...just don't eat the crust!

The service is friendly without being obtrusive. GM Shawn Horne has made that his signature. It works!

Brunch on Saturday and Sunday...a great patio area...well priced, not pricey...great ambience!

DISH 4123 Cedar Springs Road 214-522-3474 www.dish-dallas.com

CLASS SCHEDULE 2010: THE YEAR YOU CREATE YOUR WELLNESS LEGACY

SEGMENTAL SPINAL DECOMPRESSION CLASS - ELDOAs...If you have a spine, you need this class!

Scott Herrera teaches Tuesday at 6 PM and Thursday at 10 AM

Drop-In Rate $35 Punchcard Rate $25 Punchcards Available - 10 Classes for $250

Reduce vertebral compression...Improve posture...Re-hydrate the spinal discs...Increase muscle tone and awareness...
...Improve circulation...Stretch the interlinking paraspinal muscles...Facilitate the spine through proprioception

LOWER EXTREMITY SEGMENTAL WORKOUT - Abs, Adductors, Glutes, Hamstrings, Quads

Claudia Zelazny teaches Wednesday at 6 PM and Saturday at 10 AM

Drop-In Rate $30 Series of 4 Classes $100 Series of 8 Classes $175


Both Scott and Claudia are CHEK Holistic Lifestyle Coaches Level 3, CHEK Exercise Coaches, Healthexcel Metabolic Typing Advisors and have studied ELDOA and Myofascial Stretching with Guy Voyer, O.D. (Scott at the Doctorial Program level). Scott is a CHEK Level 4 Practitioner, CHEK Golf BioMechanics Coach and SomaTrainer

Call 214-537-6606 Or email claudia@claudiazelazny.com playerconsultantstexas@gmail.com